rosescentimental:

9 to 5 by dolly parton rivals the communist manifesto

bearnicorn:

bearnicorn:

i present the formula for creating excellent/strange insults:

adjective + curse word + noun

• no one asked for your opinion, you abominable shit goblin
• i fail to understand how you’ve become such a reprehensible fuck waffle
• get out of my way, you sorry excuse for an intolerable ass pastry
• i cannot believe that such an illiterate twat truck could ever be remotely polite
• maybe if you weren’t such a troublesome goddamn elbow, we could get some things done around here

i see no one has reblogged my post. is it because you undeserving fuck llamas are afraid of the truth

ephemeralgay:

some of you have never bottomed and it SHOWS

theshitneyspears:

“What are your 2019 goals?”

sjw-bot:

in retrospect, yikes

deepnest:

splickedylit:

if i was a shapeshifter, half of my time would be spent making myself look androgynous and trimming up the things about my shape I’m not happy with, and half of my time would be spent making my teeth look just a little bit sharper than is normal, changing my eye-color subtly between slightly unsettling shades, and giving myself an intricate “tattoo” that just barely moves every couple of hours, until it’s in a whole new shape next time you look at me.

if i was a shapeshifter id have fat fucking tits